A Reason, A Season, Or a Lifetime.....

I just finished watching Seven Pounds and it got me thinking. I cant imagine being that in love and losing it twice. It was so hard to even watch, how could i live with that. I loved someone that much, and it hurt like hell to lose him. He didn't die or anything, but at the time it felt like apart of me did. It hurts when you realize the person you love with all your heart don't love you the same way. I took me 4 years to see it...off and on... we tried to work it out. I could have prevented it, but love is so blind. It will have you hoping and believing in things that are not true. You see things so different when you love someone. On many occasions he told me that he didn't think he was ready for the relationship i wanted, he didn't think he loved me like i loved him. He even sat me down, after i asked how he truly felt, and told me that he loved me but he wasn't in love with me. It broke my heart, into a million pieces, and stupid me, I still went back. Hoping that it would change, that I could make him love me.
Right after the break up I thought it was so pathetic of me, to be so in love with someone who don't love me back. But as time passed, I realized that he missed out. Yea I got my issues, but I'm a damn good catch. He just wasn't the one I thought he was. He was a lesson, i learned alot about myself, and i learned alot about what I want in a relationship.
I want someone to trust me, not to judge me because of my past, to love me unconditionally, to make me feel like being is their life is the best thing that happened to them. Its taken me a while to get back my heart back to a point where i can think about him, and not get sad. Yea it still hurts, and the love is still there, but I know that was not a healthy relationship. I think if things were different we could have stayed friends, but there was no way i would be able to stay in contact and heal at the same time.
You know that saying " People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime", I want a lifetime
Its been almost 2 years, and i have moved on. But getting hurt, affects you alot, and you don't realize it until you meet someone you like, but cant open your heart to them because you afraid what happened before will happen again.
I wanna know what good love feels like....
I wanna know what 2 way love feels like....
I need to know what it feels like to be adored, cherished, honored....
I want someone love me ....

Be Blessed